OK, so i haven't been around. Things have been crazy, great, fun, hectic, weird, and ridiculous! I don't think i want to, or could even begin to explain all that has gone down for me in the past month or so.
I can tell you, it's all for the better. I know who I am. OK, no i don't; maybe i never will-but the piece I feel was missing I was right on the money about. I don't know how it will fit in with all the other pieces of my life, as there are truly so many...but it has no choice. There's no leaving it behind. There is no burying it ever again.
I think i like to talk openly about it here, because though it is public, the number of passer-by's is so low, i don't care. And will I live to regret that i said those words? Doubt it. Im outing myself today.
I love women. I love LGBT culture. Im not going to get into it more, cuz i could probably write a book that would never get finished. But Ive already outted myself to several friends and limited family. I won't be shouting it from rooftops, but at the same time i physically can't stop talking about it. I feel so much free-er(sp? feer?) than ever in my life. I Have told OM as well. We are on pretty even ground right now, but its complicated.
If i make you uncomfortable now, you may leave my life. If you don't accept me for what i bring to the game, you may leave my life now. I don't think things could get worse right now. I won't go and jinx myself over it-but with less internal struggle; maybe the world will be easier to take on.
Enjoy your weekend, I hope I do!
Amanda.
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